Celebrating 25 Years Without Sleep

As many of you know, I don't sleep. I've been up since December 5, 1982. That means the 25th year anniversary of me being awake is coming up. I'm throwing the biggest Gala of all time. We're renting out The Garden Of Eden so put on your best set of leaves and leave the sins at home. More on this to come as we get closer to the event...

New personal Shopper

Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile but The Nokes has been very busy. Not having a personal shopper turned out to be more difficult than I thought. Now, let me make one thing clear. It's not that I can't go through my life without a personal shopper. Not only can I handle my own life but I could also take on all of your plebeian tasks and still have time be fitted for a custom leather t-shirt.



So the problem is that after I fired my personal shopper I began wondering about how she was going to pay her bills, take care of her parents, buy food, and most importantly how she'd pay for her T-Mobile cell phone bill. My good friend Charles Barkley tried to tell me that I was feeling something called "guilt." I calmly yelled at him that I only feel one emotion that has been dubbed, "Nokes" and that I obviously couldn't be feeling this guilt thing he was yammering about. My doctor claims that the lack of emotion has to do with sleep deprivation. He's lucky I didn't revoke his license right there. Anywho, if Nokes is one thing Nokes is a problem solver. So I've hired a new personal assistant, C3PO. He cost like 275,000 Imperial Credits but money is no object for the Nokes. My new assistant C3PO will be starting next week after he flies in from Tatooine. I guess he was made in China or something. He's a robot that doesn't need to sleep, eat, or be cared for. I think we're going to get along famously.