Nokes here. I haven’t posted recently because I’ve been undergoing my semi-annual regeneration cycle on my moon base. Since I never sleep, the regeneration cycle is a standard practice for me every couple of years, but it comes with dire consequences. First it leaves Dotson with the impression that he’s in charge and he begins to make all sorts of changes after the first few days. The Nokes has to stamp out that kind of action immediately upon returning to the office. Usually all it takes is a box of Girl Scout Thin Mints to get him to settle down, but this time he was a bit more forceful than usual, so I made C3PO take him to Chuck E’ Cheeses for the day.
Another thing that happens when I’m in my regeneration cycle is the severe natural disasters you’ve been seeing on the news lately. As soon as I was back on Earth, my good friend Charles Barkley called me with the extent of the damage and I must say I’m impressed. You see, the Nokes controls all of the Earth’s weather patterns from her Diamond encrusted Blackberry Curve, and when it’s turned off, people die.
So now I’m off to take my nightly bath in a gold bathtub filled with the tears of orphaned Burmese children. Nokes out.
