The Verizon Voyager

Have you seen this thing? LG basically just went and ripped off the iPhone. Not only did make the outside look like an iPhone but they even setup the menus the same way. Ridiculous. We're not interested in being copycats here at Sue Mobi.. uh, T-Mobile. We innovate, Just take a look at the new T-Mobile Shadow. Yes, it has the same Windows Mobile 6 Operating System that a slew of our other phones have but hey... it's called "The Shadow" and it's sleek and black. That's how you innovate.



Speaking of the iPhone. I picked mine up on my last trip to Germany. This phone is blingtacular. Want to know the real reason why we didn't sign a deal with Apple for the iPhone? Exclusivity. For me. We needed to be sure that I would be the only one with an exclusive legal iPhone on our network. This in turn makes all of our customers have an exclusive. How? Now they're the only ones with a non-at&t cell phone company executive with a legal iPhone running on T-Mobile. You're welcome.

My Personal Shopper

I had to fire my personal shopper today. I want to feel sad about it but unfortunately I only have one emotion which doctors have coined the term “nokes” for to describe it since it’s an emotion I alone seem to have. She is the one responsible for my signature outfits. Who could forget my brown fishing net full body wrap? Or my Versace cat suit? More recently she had teamed up with Elton John’s sunglasses buyer and did some amazing work on getting me the most “bling” frames in an effort to make all the lowly frontline employees drool over my authentic name brand apparel. But as it turns out, my personal shopper (who we’ll just call Disappointment) got knocked up. Yes, I know what you’re thinking “But Sue, new born baby tears is one of your favorite drinks??!!” Well, Disappointment aborted the darn thing! She came to my office in tears going on about something like she thought her job was more important and she just wasn’t ready to be a parent, blah, blah, blah. I fired Disappointment not because she aborted it but rather she didn’t save the aborted fetus! It’s the veal of human beings. Needless to say I had my guards sent in and Disappointment was promptly removed from my presence. I now need to find a new personal shopper. Maybe I’ll find one in Germany…