Inspiration From Sue To You

Evening Nokes-a-holics. Nokes here to deliver an inspirational message to you for 2008. Inspiration can come from anywhere. Today, we're going to talk about having that killer instinct in 2008. A killer instinct strong enough to allow us to not only beat our competition, but to also buy their company and make their employees our personal pets. Today we're going to talk about the 12/28 tiger attack at the San Diego Zoo. For the three of you that haven't heard about this inspirational mauling you can click here to read all about it.

On 12/28 a 350lb. Siberian Tiger escaped from it's holding area by climbing a 12 1/2 ft. wall. After years of being taunted by park visitors this tiger unleashed it's killer instinct by mauling one park visitor to death and leaving his two friends alive but severely injured. Amazing. This tiger was smart enough to know that sometimes you have to leave some of the competition just barely hanging on in order to let others know about your power. Word of mouth is a powerful marketing tool my friends. Well, we're not really friends but you know what The Nokes means. So how does this apply to T-Mobile in 2008? I want 2008 to be the year of killer instinct for us. Don't just let a customer walk out of the store without signing up for service. You leap over their 12 ft. wall of questions and doubt and maul them until they have signed up for a 2 year Myfaves program! Figuratively speaking of course.

Now, let The Nokes make something clear: I nor T-Mobile advocate for our employees to literally maul our potential customers. Frankly, we just don't have the time to train everyone in the company on proper mauling. That is why each T-Mobile store will be provided with a Tiger. Do not attempt to domesticate these tigers in anyway. They are from my personal collection. They are to be fed a strict diet of Hot Sauce and salt water. This will keep their killer instinct alive. You will also find that they will be leashed and collared with a generous 50 foot leash so they can access the entire store. This will help keep your killer instinct alive. Happy New Year!

-Nokes Out!

My Moonbase Is Almost Complete

Here's the latest picture of my moonbase from Google Earth. I'm thinking about making this my permanent base of operations once it's fully operational. Barkley ad I even tossed around having it take over as the new corporate office for my T-Mobile Empire. We'll see. Aside from my usual comforts (baby giraffe skin lampshades, panda eyeball door knobs, etc.) this moonbase base has a secret system designed to help The Nokes deal with the recent increase in employees who are rebelling against the T-Mobile Empire. What's worse is that these employees seem to be building a community of some sort. I find your lack of faith in The Nokes disturbing. Soon your little "Rebel Alliance" will be crushed. It's just like I told Dotson when I called him about being last on his Myfaves, "The circle is complete. When I left you I was but a learner, now I am the master!"

He tried to convince me that nobody was first or last. He said that because it's a circle there's no beginning or end. Ok, Aristotle. Well The Nokes knows the beginning and end of all circles. You don't know the power of The Nokes!

The Reason For All The Changes...

Nokes here. Ready to impart knowledge, wisdom, and perspicuity (look it up). Some of you have been lamenting over changes in commission structure, budget cuts, and restructuring of retail. I fact, some of you have even done so on here. The audacity! I allowed it to go on because I knew that once I showed what that money was being used for you would be so happy and excited for The Nokes that you would feel as if though you had betrayed your own mother... and maybe in a way you have. Now, before you collectively take a dive onto your Samurai swords take a moment to check out Mama Nokes' new rims!

Doesn't knowing that The Nokes will be rolling on these 22 inch Dubs and 110,000 carets make those sacrifices more than worth it? It's more like I did you a favor. Well, I won't be actually driving these anywhere since I only travel by Gold Concord Jet, an intricate system of worldwide tubes, floating, or the occasional moonwalk. But they' do look bling-tastic on my fleet of cars I never drive. Happy New Year!

-Nokes Out

P.S. We may put one of these on the Do More Get More catalog. Just 2.5 million points to get one. One.