I wanted to give everyone a quick update on my 25th Year Anniversary Of Being Awake gala. Again this is to celebrate 25 years of me not sleeping, something I started on December 5th 1982. Speaking of that date, a lot of people have asked me (despite my company memo not to ask me any questions for the rest of November) if that date has any significance. I strategically chose December for one reason. I was tired of Jesus and his Christmas stealing my limelight every December. I know that he died, resurrected, and all that but I've been awake for 25 years. 25! I didn't see that in any part of The Bible. Although, to be fair, I've never actually seen a Bible. But I digress. Enough about Him. This is about Me. As you know, I'm holding this shindig at the Garden Of Eden. Very exclusive. I hear I'll be the third person to ever hold an event there. Here's the list of A-List invitees so far:
- Jamie Lee Curtis (We did kind of shaft her on the T-Mobile transition)
- Simon Cowell (such a sweetheart)
- Ghandi
- The Dell Guy
- Hillary Clinton (She needs some campaigning tips from The Nokes)
- The guy from Police Academy that does voices (He does a great Robert Dotson crying.)
- Slimer
- 2 Live Crew
- Gizmo
- Vanilla Ice
- Kathy Griffin
More updates with the rest of the guest list to come. I have of course banned that gold digger Catherine Zeta-Jones.
-Nokes Out
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