As many of you have heard or read there's a big uproar over Dr. Phil and his visit to Britney's hospital room and his subsequent plans to have a show about her this week. The mental health community really has their collective panties in a bunch over this one. Let me explain how The Nokes factors in here.
You see, I don't have a whole lot of emotional range. Mostly I only feel anger, disdain and wealth. Yes, wealth is an emotion for The Nokes. Sometimes I feel all three of these at the same time which is a super-emotion dubbed by doctors as "feeling Nokes." At first, I thought that not having more feelings was a fault, an area of opportunity. So I set out to do something about it.
One day, I gathered up some clay, mixed it with water, and molded it into my own image. I then breathed into my clay man sculpture and it became alive. It became Dr. Phil. See, I created Dr. Phil to help teach me all about the full range of human emotions. I then realized how truly lame those other emotions, such as love, truly are. He did teach me just how to deal with people that are emotionally distressed: you yell and belittle them. Like mother, like son I guess. The only problem is that he is also a loud mouthed redneck. I mean, this guy doesn't shut up. Oprah was having a birthday party and that Ho always wants unique gifts. So I wrapped him up, put him in a box, and gave him to her. The rest is history. You're welcome Brit.
-Nokes Out!
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