Sue, Barkley, & Your Quarterly Bonus

My good friend Charles Barkley has been calling me all week, leaving unintelligible message after unintelligible message. Turns out he wants The Nokes to teach him how to pronounce words. I really should just do it but I told him he'd have to work for it. So I challenged Charles to a game of basketball. If Charles wins I teach him how to pronounce words. If The Nokes wins I get to do a Mysapce-style survey about myself and pass it off as the company's 4th quarter bonus. Good news employees! After 2:31 seconds of utter domination the final score was Nokes 21, Charles 0. Momma Nokes with the shutout! Enjoy your bonus:

What would you do if?
The President of the United States called you:	Normally the Nokes sends him straight to voicemail.
You won the lottery:	What's a "lottery?"
You caught a friend stealing from you:	Let's just say that the words "Lil Kim" and "regulate" would be used
You witnessed a murder:	Get some popcorn
A random stranger offered you candy:	They better be rubies. Everyone knows that the only candy The Nokes eats is rubies
You found 10 dollars on the ground:	I would buy the sidewalk and then have it destroyed for wasting my time for a measly 10 dollars.
Someone cut off a chunk of your hair:	How about what my hair would do. My hair is made out of porcupine like needles