Nokes here, live from the Nokescave located 1 mile beneath T-Mobile headquarters. I finally had enough. The Nokes' hand was forced to teach T-Mobile's Chief People Officer, Manny Sousa, a lesson. By the way, Chief People Officer must be the weakest sounding executive position of all time. It sounds like the man is in charge of maintaining law and order in Fisher-Price town or something.
So why Manny? Frankly, The Nokes is tired of this smug bastard walking around T-Mobile like he's the reason for our employee satisfaction and employee retention rates. Where were you while I was busy creating Do More Get More, raising salaries, and implementing monthly incentives? Or where were you when The Nokes came up with the brilliant idea of having all Sr. Managers sign their souls over to me upon their promotion? Why do you think they never, and The Nokes means never, quit? Oh, that's right. You were stuffing burritos over at El Taco. Couldn't even cut it at Taco Bell so you had to go work for a knockoff. Sad Manny. Another thing, nobody thinks that its funny when you say "that's Sousariffic!" Nobody. Your mother constantly calls Dotson to complain about it. Knock it off.
Last night I had Lil Kim pay Manny a visit. I had her pull off all of his toenails and fingernails so that she could replace them with mirrors. Just as I suspected, he came in today barefoot and has been staring at his hands and feet all day. I scheduled a meeting for Manny with the heads of our German parent company Deutsch Telekom. I can't wait to see what these homophobic and racists Nazis think about a smug spanish man with mirrors for nails. You and Catherine Zeta-Jones will soon be sharing a room. Bwahahahaha!!!!
-Nokes Out!
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