Monday, January 28, 2008

2008 Kick Off Update #2

Here's a quick synopsis of my approach to the stage. I arrived to the center of the stage wearing a black velvet cape trimmed with diamonds. The cape is 40 feet long but never touches the ground do to the fear instilled into it by my glare. C3PO picked out a smashing business suit that was custom made out of actual chain-mail used during the Spanish Inquisition and rubies. It has a sort of metallic magenta look to it. I began by talking about some of our accomplishments from 2007 and some of our failures. I made sure to stare at the 4 ugliest people in the room whenever I discussed T-Mobile's failures. Hopefully that will make them even more insecure than they already must be and they'll just resign by the end of the day. We have to keep T-Mobile hot and sexy people. I then asked a few nonsensical questions to get the crowd ready to accept that I'm the smartest one in the room. Questions like, "If the Earth was flat, how thick would it be?" I then let our first speaker take the floor but not before I reminded everyone in the room that I, Sue Nokes, am the only person in the world who is half-woman, half-amazing.

-Nokes Out!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

VP (Sales) Doug Chartier explaned how he nver hits quota and remains employed.

Anonymous said...

Correction from the Mormom choir,explained.

Anonymous said...

Nokes communicated she was from Detroit although she has never been to Detroit.

Anonymous said...

Barry Glassman (ERP) did a Power Point presentation on how one of his ERP rep's maintained her position while living in NC where T-Mobile has no coverage.Barry made it a point that he was successful @ hiding her residence as she posted a Fl address on the address book.

Fake Sue Nokes said...

Too bad for Gary he showed up here with an even number of letters in his last name. Looks like he's next to walk the coals.

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