Saturday, January 26, 2008

Over 8 Million in Phones Stolen

You may have heard that 36,000 phones were recently stolen from our warehouse amounting to about 8 million in loses for T-Mobile. Much love to the faithful Nokes-A-Holic that sent me this link to the news story about it. The Nokes doesn't see what all the fuss is about. 8 million? That's nothing. I spend more than that a week on toilet paper alone. Granted, my toilet paper is made from a combination of the manuscripts of Jesus, Dead Sea Scrolls, chronicles from Atlantis, Dinosaur skin, and the diary of Shakespeare. Not only are these the finest and most expensive rare documents/forms of paper available but they are also just things I like to wipe my ass with. I of course don't create any actual waste since I am the world's only immaculate human being but you get my point. So don't worry about T-Mobile and the 8 million dollar loss. If anything I'll dock it from the warehouse employees' pay. Well, not their pay but their parents' Social Security checks. Can't have that employee satisfaction survey look bad.

-Nokes Out!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

sounds like an inside job, Nokes. you ought to have your good friend Sir Charles Barkley go down there and break some thumbs. that should get results.

Anonymous said...

Evidently we have Barney Fife for security. Apparantly no one noticed the 3 semi trucks pulling into the docks. We couldn't guard Pamela Sue Andersons' tits if our nets depended on it.